From Survival Mode to Thriving

Emi La
Sep 20, 2025
4 min read

Updated: Jan 18

A Healing Journey of a Woman Reclaiming Her Power

I was raised to fear in order to survive. In a small country where silence was safe, I learned early that speaking up could make me vulnerable. I repeated mantras of submission to please authority, ignored my inner compass, and trusted what others deemed good for me. That path kept me in line, kept me alive, but it didn't keep me free.

Becoming a confident Black woman. Woman in black bikini poses confidently on stone steps, touching sunglasses. Sunlit entrance with open doors and neutral walls in background. self-love journey for Black women. Inner child healing. — Photographed in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico by @_libratendencies. Earrings by *@jewelrybyaris*

Healing my Inner Child

Looking back, I have respect for the lessons my childhood taught me. They helped me survive. The world I grew up in was dominated by men who knew "what's good for me". I was expected to follow their path, not mine. The environment was riddled with mixed messages like: fear God, but "you're stupid if you believe in God"; obey to earn love, but speak up or risk abandonment; be independent, but never stand out.

Yet today, as a grown woman, I meet those old lessons of fear, selflessness, pain, and doubt, with awareness, not submission. I recognize those emotions the moment they start creeping in. I show up for the little girl inside me; the one who had no one to tend to her tender heart. I soothe her now. I am the nurturer she needed. I am the presence she was waiting for. Through unlearning and learning, through failure and persistence, I have forged resilience. Those trials shaped me into a woman who leads with both compassion and conviction.

Today, I have no superior nor barrier.

From Survival Mode To Thriving

I am savoring the love that now lives within me. A deep, steady current that rises from moving beyond survival mode. As Dorothy once said, "Toto, I've a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore". I’ve made peace with the many versions of myself, weaving them into something whole. Writing has been my compass, helping me discover clarity, healing, and the courage to rise. And now, as I step into this new chapter, I share this journey with you.

Confidently Crowned And Loving My Natural Hair

My bouncing, luscious curls, now dance freely with joy as the wind shifts. With money in my pocket and bliss in the air, I embrace life unapologetically. In Melbourne, Australia, their carelessness looked more like a celebration. The embodiment of “laissez faire”. We’re not timid anymore.

I move through the world dazzlingly, unrestrained. My hair performs its unrehearsed gone-with-the-wind show and I blush when I hear you say “I love your hair!”

Melanin Magic and Body Confidence

My rich, forever sun-kissed skin, receives all sensation of joy and vibrations of laughter. Branded in scars from careless plays, I wear my melanin with pride knowing it carries my grit and my might. Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk reminds us that the body keeps the score of trauma. I say my body keeps the sum of victories. My petite frame, once overshadowed in rooms full of perceived power, now radiates presence and authority. I wear it with pride. I style it with intention. I claim it as my own.

Showing Up For Myself And For You

Every time I show up for myself, I show up for you. A smile becomes a magnet for finding beauty. Like electrons bonding one atom to another, we lift each other. Creating realities of abundance. Healing our wounds so we unite in the center of delight. This smile has also afforded us free drinks, tickets, and club entries. So, I smile at you and with you.

A Prosperous Mindset Begins With Self-Love

Unconditional love must start from within. And the liberation of the mind is impossible without it. The more I apply that knowledge, the more I find myself open and inventive. Alex Osborn, author of Your Creative Power, wrote “hold the positive thoughts captive”. Though I appreciate the image that it creates, it makes me want to go more into rescue mode than into embodiment. So I reframe it for myself as “arousal in positive thoughts unlocks the valiant in me”. That's my path of least resistance, my daily routine, my declaration of independence.

I Am the Formidable Woman

I have climbed mountains of fear, self-doubt, and societal expectation. From a small, scared child to a restless adolescent, to the woman I am today. Each lesson, each scare, each mirror gaze has led me here. I look at the past and say: Thank you and goodbye.

Black women travel magazine displays a woman in red dress sits on a white chair with a blanket. She's smiling, wearing gold accessories, travel with style and purpose. Warm wooden floor background. — Earrings and dress by Bebe. Shoes by Christian Louboutin. Cuff bracelet by Aris, @jewelrybyaris.

I look in the mirror and say, "I love you".

I prosper because I honor all that I've survived and all that I've built.

Final Reflection

You don’t become a woman overnight. You rise, piece by piece: every scar, every no, every hair flip, every reflection in the mirror. That is the journey from survival mode to thriving. And today, I celebrate all of you who are in the process of becoming.

How are you breaking free from your survival mode? What would your inner child say to you today? Drop a comment and share your growth. Let’s build together.