From Survival Mode to Thriving

Emi La
Sep 20
4 min read

Updated: Sep 22

A Healing Journey of a Woman Reclaiming Her Power

I was raised to fear in order to survive in a small country. I learned to keep quiet to not threaten the loud and I repeated mantras of submission to please authority. I was encouraged to ignore my internal compass and trust what was deemed good for me as it kept me in line and on the default path.

Becoming a confident Black woman. Woman in black bikini poses confidently on stone steps, touching sunglasses. Sunlit entrance with open doors and neutral walls in background. self-love journey for Black women. Inner child healing. — Photographed in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico by @_libratendencies. Earrings by *@jewelrybyaris*

Healing my Inner Child

I have respect for the lessons I learned growing up in my homeland. They helped me survive that environment, truly. It was an environment dominated by men who knew "what's good for you". In that space, I was expected to follow someone else's path, not my own. The environment was riddled with mixed messages like: fear God, yet "you're stupid if you believe in God"; be obedient to earn love, but speak up or risk being left behind; be independent, but don't stand out.

Still, I’m grateful for the lessons of fear, selflessness, pain, and doubt, because today, as a grown woman, I recognize those emotions the moment they start creeping in. I meet them with awareness, not submission. I show up for that little girl in me who once had no one to tend to her tender heart. I soothe her now, because I am the nurturer she needed. I am the presence she was waiting for.

Today, I have no superior nor barrier. Through unlearning and learning from failure, I have forged resilience. Those trials shaped me into a woman who leads with both compassion and conviction.

From Survival Mode To Thriving

I’m savoring the love that now lives within me. A deep, steady kind of love that comes from knowing I’ve moved beyond survival mode. As Dorothy said, "Toto, I've a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore". I’ve made peace with the many versions of myself and woven them into something whole. Through writing for self-discovery, I’ve found clarity, healing, and the courage to rise above it all. And as I step into this new chapter, I share it all with you.

Confidently Crowned And Loving My Natural Hair

Bouncing, luscious curls that finally decided to be friends with me, dance freely with joy as the wind shift direction. With money in my pocket and bliss in the air, I find my next destination in the wind. In Melbourne, Australia, their carelessness looked more like a celebration, the embodiment of “laissez faire”. We’re not timid anymore. It’s my pleasure to dazzle you with an unrehearsed gone-with-the-wind show and hear you say “I love your hair”!

Melanin Magic & Body Confidence

My rich, forever sun-kissed skin, receives all sensation of joy and vibrations of laughter. Branded in scars from careless plays, I wear my melanin with pride knowing it carries my grit and my might. Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk says the body keeps the score of trauma. I say my body keeps the sum of my victories. Don't let the skinny figure fool you! I had to learn how to wear, style, and present my petite stature in crowds of who's-who and those with many accolades and still radiate. I say, this is all mine and I'm the only one who will do it justice!

Showing Up For Myself And For You

And I can admit that my smile is my magnet for finding beauty in you. Like electrons bonding one atom to another, every time I show up for myself, I also show up for you. So by default, I see you. And BOOM! here we are, lifting each other, creating realities of abundance, healing our wounds so we unite in the center of delight. This smile has also afforded us free drinks, tickets, and club entries. So, I smile at you and with you.

A Prosperous Mindset Begins With Self-Love

Unconditional love has many conditions if not yet felt by the Self. And the liberation of the mind without such love is a non-starter. The more I apply that knowledge, the more I find myself open and inventive. Alex Osborn who wrote Your Creative Power told me “hold the positive thoughts captive”. Though I appreciate the image that creates, it makes me want to go more into rescue mode than into embodiment. So I reframe it for myself as “arousal in positive thoughts unlocks the valiant in me”. That's my path of least resistance.

I AM the Formidable Woman

I have grown to understand that the barriers that I’ve climbed over when I was a wee-baby, to blue adolescent, to restless young adult have brought me to today’s summit where this formidable woman blooms. I prosper because I look at the past lessons and say: Thank you and goodbye.

Black women travel magazine displays a woman in red dress sits on a white chair with a blanket. She's smiling, wearing gold accessories, travel with style and purpose. Warm wooden floor background. — Earrings and dress by Bebe. Shoes by Christian Louboutin. Cuff bracelet by Aris, @jewelrybyaris.

I look in the mirror and say, I love you.

Final Reflection

You don’t become a formidable woman overnight. You rise piece by piece, every scar, every no, every hair flip, every mirror gaze. That’s the journey from survival mode to thriving. And today, I celebrate all of you who are in the process of becoming.

How are you breaking free from your survival mode? What would your inner child say to you today? Drop a comment and share your growth. Let’s build together.