How Christof Won My Heart & Igor Missed His Shot
Updated: 5 days ago
The Ultimate Showdown — Christof vs. Igor
Barcelona felt like the guy you keep running into at your favorite plant nursery. Then one Saturday, when you’re looking fire, you spotted him at the back of your local café reading Tom Reiss’ The Black Count, one of your favorites, while sipping on his coffee: black, no cream, no sugar.
OMG!
Just like you take your coffee!
You have so much in common already.
Let’s call him Christof.
Madrid, on the other hand, was the guy who keeps introducing himself to you every time he meets you.
Seriously, Andrew Allen Anderson.
I JUST SAW YOU LAST WEEK!
We’ll refer to him as Igor.
Christof Had Me at Hello
Barcelona greeted me like we'd already met.
The locals were warm, curious, chatty. Even their Catalan sounded like music.
When they speak, their tongues seem to swallow the Ss and Zs turning Catalan into its own little melody.
What a wonderful song! I mean, language...
Barcelonans greet you as if being reunited with family wanting to catch up on cousin Jimmy’s latest antics. Much like it was with Sebastian, the young waiter we befriended while heading back to our hotel.
He asked our names, where we were from, how hungry we were, what we wanted to see, and then offered to take us around himself if we couldn’t find our way.
Sir. We just met.
Christof was clearly raised right :)
The streets were mostly clean.
Always full of life, buzzing men and women, residents and tourists alike, cackling, snapping selfies and scenic pictures for their gallery wall. Those gorgeous pictures better not stay on your hard drives!!
All pictures were taken on my now-retired Nikon Coolpix L830. Cute beginner friendly camera. I liked some of the fun filters like that "dreamy" filter from the pictures above.
Igor’s Missed Shot
Igor wasn't rude. Let's be clear.
He just had the social energy of a man who walks into a room, checks his watch, and immediately starts watching sports highlights on the big screen.
I smiled at him.
Nothing.
I smiled again.
Nothing.
Sir. I’m not asking you to marry me. Just smile back!
In general, when I travel with my friend, we don’t have a strict itinerary. We go with the flow and get a feel for the neighborhoods by walking around and observing how locals move. When a place feels like home, just being there feels energetic and refreshing. When a place does not feel like home, we create an itinerary of places to visit and STICK TO THE PLAN!
I will also blame the location of the hotel. The hotel itself was fantastic. The décor, the staff, the bathroom water pressure were all TOP NOTCH! But the location reminded me more of an unfulfilled European copy of Times Square.
What do you know?
I’m a tourist and I have an aversion to tourists.
Christof's Finest Assets
We did tons of walking and explored some of Christof’s finest assets.
I must admit, when I saw Gaudi’s Casa Batlló, I was impressed mostly with the intensity of the tile colors used on the exterior. It looked like a positive anomaly, like a building I would place in the Caribbean or Africa, not Europe. Now, looking back at the pictures, I value its distinctive architecture and the shapes inside and outside that break the monotone structures in its vicinity.
I appreciate the skyscrapers of the NYC and Chicago skylines, but at times, I find they all blend with one another.
If you want to shock your system, or feed your brain new intelligence, visit Gaudi’s works with an open mind.
An empty mind, preferably.
And in that same attitude, head over to La Sagrada Familia.
Strikingly ugly at first and up close.
The exterior reads more like an uncontrolled goth mind, during a rebellious phase, frantically drawing nightmares and visions of annihilation.
Yea! Menacing face!
I hated it.
Then I walked inside.
Oh.
Okay, Gaudi. You got me.
I’m in love.
The pictures don’t do it justice. It didn’t capture the grandeur of the tall, ornate ceiling. That or my photography skills need some serious help.
Sometimes I think we need more architecture like this. Then I flip flop and say, no, this should remain one of a kind.
Igor Had Some Moments
Palace of Cristal immediately inspired the mansion I’m designing in my head.
It’s my dream to live in a greenhouse where my Thai Constellation monstera can climb over an entire wall while I sit on a chaise reading David Sedaris. The orchid blooms would brighten up the place. Uhm, the place is still too bare. Where should I mount my staghorn fern?
Great! Already overthinking. Huh!
Parque de El Retiro was welcoming. We walked there on a lovely sunny, autumn day. Great place for tranquility and a picturesque backdrop for any occasion.
Despite being a little emotionally unavailable, Igor apparently wanted to keep me entertained. We stumbled into “La Casa Encendida” to savor art by Picasso.
Not sure if it’s their permanent home but the expo explained that various artists got together and named his paintings based on the emotions they evoke.
Here are my favorites:
"In the Style of Picasso" titled by Trevor Paglen
Then there was the Temple of Debod.
A Nubian temple was DONATED to Spain by Egypt in 1968.
What!?
Igor can’t even be bothered to have his own ancient temple?
Come on! Do better!
It’s free to visit, but the line was extensive the day we visited. So, plan accordingly if you want to check it out.
On the way out, we saw those trees. My friend Sue said, let's wait for the tourists to leave to get a clear view.
Man! We waited. I was gonna give up.
If it's one thing I've learned from Sue it's PATIENCE! She could be a National Geographic photographer!
Thank you, Sue.
Christof — My Cordon Bleu
That man can cook!
Christof offered us paellas, croquettes, chorizo, shrimp in garlic sauce that my friend and I almost fought over, and with most of the meals, you’ll find on our table Sangria to wash it all down.
Food is one connection I make to feel like I’m at the other home I never knew I had. That category ranks high in the dating process.
Igor — Failed Culinary School
Igor can’t cook.
There, Band-Aid ripped!
The dishes felt like they were having multiple crises. We couldn’t find one comprehensive menu where the food was cohesive and could easily be paired with anything else we’d want to taste.
We were not emotionally nourished.
Unlike Christof, where nearly every meal felt like an invitation to linger, Igor had me eating for sustenance.
Sir, I didn’t travel across an ocean for sustenance.
I have cereal at home.
Dazzle me!
So, gentlemen, this is the final rose tonight.
Christof brought the charm, the food, the architecture, the laughter, the warmth, and enough sangria to keep things borderline dangerous.
Igor had some beautiful moments too. But the chemistry wasn’t there.
Christof got the rose.
And Igor?
Thank you for your time. Can I walk you out?
Until the next adventure,
Emi
P.S. Igor, I still think your bathroom water pressure was excellent. Let’s not ruin a good thing.
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